


All's Fair In Love And... Paintball?

by Theyna_Shipper



Series: Star Wars One-Shots [14]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: All's fair in love and war, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Coworkers - Freeform, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, It's like a gritty war movie but paintball, Paintball, and crack, it's really JUST CRACK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyna_Shipper/pseuds/Theyna_Shipper
Summary: “Ben, if we don’t make it out of here-”“We’ll both make it out of here,” he hisses. “I promise.”“Yeah but just in case.” She purses her lips. “There’s something I want you to know.”“What is it, R-”“GET DOWN!”********A dozen stressed coworkers. An abandoned office building. A lot of paint. Twenty gift certificates. And the two biggest drama queens in the known world.This is paintball. And this can only end one way.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Star Wars One-Shots [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637683
Comments: 13
Kudos: 74





	All's Fair In Love And... Paintball?

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this "Community" inspired, heavily Crack-filled Reylo AU. I've never actually played paintball so do with this what you will. 
> 
> It's essentially gritty war movie dialog in a paintball game.

Because their old office building was being condemned and why the hell _not_?

Because Poe had the nerve to ask Holdo and she said yes and why the hell _not_?

Because they still had the raffle prizes from the cancelled Christmas party and why the hell _not_?

“Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to the first and last Resistance Enterprises employee paintball game.The rules are: anyone can shoot anyone, if you get paint on you, you’re out, trash the place all you want, try not to kill anyone, we play to the last man standing understood?” Poe shouts from atop a desk. 

Everyone, holding their paintball guns borrowed from Rose and Rey, cheered in agreement. 

“Then let the games begin!”

Figuring the bathroom and breakroom will be the favorite locations, Rey sprints for Holdo’s old office. Door, desk, silence- what more could she ask for? Sure, the exits were few, but she planned on leaving on her own terms. 

She barricades herself in her office and waits to let the amateurs weed each other out. She contemplates who will make it to the end. Rose, of course, she’s experienced. Kaydel was pretty athletic, although her aim may or may not match. There’s a handful of temps who barely know the office and don’t even warrant consideration.Poe is too foolhardy, Finn simply too nice. Hux will overestimate his ability and lose out in that respect. And Ben- well, he’s a mystery. He’s got an athletic build, but the most sporty thing she’s ever seen him do is run to the elevator before the door closed. In general, she never sees him outside the office, and is surprised he’s participating in this at all.

So her, Rose, Kaydel, and possibly Ben going up against each other in the finals. For gift certificates to Maz's Ice Cream. But Rey, she is in it for the sweet, sweet, taste of victory- although ice cream is good too.

It’s only a half-hour before her hiding place is discovered. _Dammit, Kaydel is too good._  
This is not going as planned

Rey rapidly scans the room for her escape routes. She could exchange fire with Kaydel, but that is probably suicide for both of them. She could sprint for the door and do her best to dodge, but the odds are also not appealing there. Which leaves one more exit.

A second story window. 

It’s an appealing option, but it is the _most_ appealing option. And it’s only a second story window. 

She jumps, absorbs the shock in a forward roll, and sticks the landing, grinning victoriously. But the grin is quickly wiped off her face when she finds herself staring down the barrel of a gun. A gun wielded by Ben Solo. 

_I can’t get knocked out this early!_ she thinks, watching the paintball fly towards her as if in slow-motion. 

But it flies over her shoulder, spraying Finn’s chest in a shower of red. Rey reaches for her own weapons, but Ben is already holstering his own. 

“You saved me,” she gasps. 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Now let’s get out of here before Kaydel catches up.”

Slowly recovering from her shock, Rey takes a step forward, but stumbles. 

“Did you twist your ankle? That was quite the plunge you took.”

“I’m fine,” she mutters. “Just turned it, I think. I can walk it off.” She takes a few wobbly steps before finding her stride again. “So, why didn’t you shoot me? You after an alliance or something?”

“If you’re offering.” He extends his hand. “Join me?”

Rey contemplates the decision. There’s no guarantee he won’t shoot her in the back the minute she looks away. But two are stronger than one, and she can always shoot _him_ in the back if it comes to that.

She takes his hand. “Maybe we should lie low for a bit, wait for the others to weed each other out?”

He grins. “I know the perfect place. No one else in the building will find it.”

“Why so confident?”

“You know that supply closet no one has a key for?”

“No way.” 

He twirls the key on his finger. “Don’t believe me, sweetheart?”

The lock clicks satisfyingly; the door showers the pair in dust as it swings open for the first time in years. Ben flicks the lightswitch to now avail. 

“Amateur,” Rey snorts. She pulls a flashlight off her belt. “Close the door.”

The closet is spacious enough for both of them to sit comfortably. 

“So, where’d you learn to shoot like that?” Rey asks. “Can’t say I’ve seen you in any of the local leagues.”

He shakes his head. “You wouldn’t have. I played back in highschool. I guess you never lose the reflexes though.”

Rey nods. “I guess not.”

She sips from her water bottle. “How long, do you think? ‘Til we can leave?”

“Rose and Kaydel are taking this pretty seriously. Could be hours. Might as well get comfortable.”

Rey takes off her jacket and spreads it on the floor. Ben does the same. She’s never seen him like this, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, his messy hair hanging around his face. He looks happier, more relaxed. 

“People take things this seriously back in high school, Solo?”

He snorts. “We had rules. This-” he gestures vaguely. “Is chaos.”

“You prefer a gentleman’s war?”

“I consider myself a gentleman.”

Rey reaches into a pocket of her cargo pants and pulls a pack of candy cigarettes out. She pulls one out and begins to chew on it, offering the box to Ben. He takes one. 

“We’ve been working together for nearly three years, and I still feel like I barely know you,” Rey remarks. “Why didn’t you shoot me?”

“I felt like you were waiting to tell me something.” He takes a bite out of the cigarette. “Were you?”

Rey took a long pause. “I don’t want to fight this thing alone.”

“You’re not alone.”

The quiet expression of tenderness and caring surprises her, coming from the quiet man. “Neither are you.”

He smiles softly. Rey returns it.

They pass hours in the semi-dark, wearing their cigarettes down to dust and exchanging them for new ones, talking and planning. Eventually, Rey checks her watch to find that it is nine o’clock. 

She blows a cloud of powdered sugar out of one end of her cigarette. “I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“I have a stash of food in my office,” Ben offers. “If you want to risk a raid.”

“I’m not starving in here.” She crunches down on the rest of her candy cigarette. “You lead the way, I’ll cover your back.”

He nods. They prowl cautiously through the darkened halls. It is silent, but they both know others are still out there. When only two are left, an alarm will sound. 

The hallways are silent- eerily silent. Surely they should’ve encountered a straggler by now?

They reach Ben’s office unscathed. He stuffs some food into his jacket. “Now hurry back!”

“Shh!” Rey hears something in the hollowed-out ceiling. Someone- multiple someones- are in the vent. In a moment, Rey and Ben will be surrounded. 

They stand, back to back, in the darkened office, awaiting their charge. 

“Ben, if we don’t make it out of here-”

“We’ll both make it out of here,” he hisses. “I promise.”

“Yeah but just in case.” She purses her lips. “There’s something I want you to know.”

“What is it, R-”

“GET DOWN!”

Rose, Kaydel, and one of the temps descend from the ceiling as Rey shoves Ben to the ground. She fires upwards indiscriminately, chasing away their attackers. She knows she hit the temp, not sure who else. Slowly, she helps Ben to his feet. 

“At least one of them got away, I want to follow.” She points down the hallway. “Can you cover my back this time?”

“You trust me?”

“With my life.”

They return their silent stalking, a quiet and deadly machine. Soft sobbing down the hallway catches their intentions. 

“No matter how this ends- we’ll still be friends, right?” Kaydel whispers to Rose. 

“Of course.”

“Win for me, Rose?”

Rose nods, too emotional to speak. 

“Thank you.” Kaydel leans back and closes her eyes. Rose takes her ammo belt and stands up. 

“How heartwarming,” Rey calls from behind. Rose snaps her head towards them, but is slow to draw. 

“Almost makes me feel bad,” Ben remarks. 

Rey nods in agreement. “Almost.”

She and Ben pull their triggers in unison, sending a multicolored spray across Rose’s chest. They rush forward to collect her ammo. 

The alarms still do not sound. At least one other fighter is left in the game. 

Ben slowly turns to Rey. “We both know how this will have to go if we continue like this.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t either. But when it comes to it- it will be easier this way. If we seperate now, clean out the building, then-” 

“We can finish this properly,” Rey agrees. “However that may be.”

“However that may be.”

Rey extends her hand. “It’s been an honor hunting with you.”

“You as well.”

They shake hands one last time and part. 

Rey goes to the basement, figuring this is where she would choose to hide. Her efforts are rewarded when she hears one of the temps creeping around. 

She tackles him effortlessly from behind and holds her gun to his forehead. “Drop your gun.”

His fingers tighten their grip. 

“DROP YOUR GUN!” 

The scared boy complies. Rey leans close to his ear. 

“Who’s left in the game? Tell me!”

“You’re just going to shoot me anyways.”

“If you tell me, I’ll give an alliance,” Rey hisses. “Is Solo still out there?”

The temp nods. “He’s the last one. He killed Kira. It’s just me, you, and him.”

Rey accepts the information. “Thank you.” 

Then she shoots him. 

He looks in horror at his paint-splattered head. “You shot an unarmed man. Who’d surrendered under promise of an alliance!”

“I lied.”

“That’s against the rules of war.”

“This isn’t war.” Rey twirls her gun. “This is paintball.”

The ringing alarms guide Rey to the surface. 

Facing Ben Solo alone on the battlefield. Ringed by their entire branch of Resistance Enterprises. This was never how Rey wanted it. 

Tears course, unbidden, down her cheek. “We don’t have to end like this, Ben,” she calls across the grass. 

“It has to. This is the rule,” he shouts back, sounding almost as heartbroken. 

“We don’t have to accept that. We’re our own people.”

“But there’s nothing more to be done.”

Rey offers her hand one last time. “End it now. Like this. Just the two of us.” Tears cloud her vision. “Please.”

He looks at his gun, at her hand, then at his. Then he tosses the rifle to the ground and takes her extended hand. “The two of us.”

She smiles sadly, and reaches out to touch his cheek. “Just like this.”

She leans forward and traces a kiss across his lips- something she’s never thought of doing before, but it feels so _right_ , to celebrate like this.

He freezes up at first, and Rey waits for his lips to part under hers. She slowly moves her pistol as he kisses her back. 

Then, she pulls the trigger. 

Ben looks down in horror at the bright liquid seeping across his shirt. “You wouldn’t- you didn’t-”

“I’m sorry, Ben,” she says icily. “I really am. But you know that old saying.”

He narrows his eyes. “Which one?”

“All’s fair in love and war.”

She holsters her pistol and goes to claim her reward. 

Everyone perches on the hoods of their cards in their paint-splattered clothes. Only Rey remains unscathed. They sip lukewarm soda that Poe brought for them. 

Rey is talking and laughing with Rose and Kaydel when Ben approaches her. “Rey?”

“Back in a minute,” Rey mutters to her friends. She walks off with Ben. “What’s up?”

“You said you had something to tell me,” he reminds her. “But we were interrupted.”

Rey smiles. “Yeah. Bad timing.” She drains her drink. “You know, I have twenty gift certificates for ice cream. That’s more than I could ever eat myself,” she continues. “But if I were to bring someone with me-”

“Are you asking me on a _date_ , Rey?”

She purses her lips. “Remember what I said after I shot you?”

“‘All’s fair in love and war’.”

Rey nods. “And this isn’t war…”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! Your feedback keeps me going


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